Ardath Rekha

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3/31/13 10:04 pm - Epiphany redux

It’s a funny little moment that I just had, and I wanted to post about it somewhere. I have my window open partway because it’s been a nice, warm day, and I just started listening to “Clocks” by Coldplay. When I originally got the song, almost ten years ago (!) it was autumn and my then-SO was going out of town on a business trip for more than a week. Usually, for reasons that largely had to do with his being accustomed to central air conditioning, the house windows were never opened, but that week I kept them open the whole time. Until I’d moved to Kentucky, I’d always lived with open windows and fans, so being able to do that was a bit of a “homecoming” for me, and started to help me put into perspective just how far out of my element I was down there… and how unhappy I was. For that week, for the first time in years, I was in charge of my life, and I discovered just how much I liked it.

The result is that the combination of the song, and the feel of cool, fresh air bring back very vividly the moment when I realized just how much better I liked myself as a person when he wasn’t around. It would take almost another two years before I managed to cut the cord and leave, but the mixture of wistfulness, hopefulness, and “I want to be this person all the time” still comes back to me at moments like these. The plus to that: I do like the person I’ve become, and I’m becoming someone I like more and more as time goes on.

So in moments like these, there’s a new feeling as well, because I’m no longer just wistfully reaching out toward the person I wish I could be; I’m becoming her. And I'm definitely in the right place, now, for that to happen.

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3/8/13 01:23 am - Forbidden Gifts, Chapter 24

Title: Forbidden Gifts
Author: Ardath Rekha
Chapter: 24 of ?
Fandom: Prometheus
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Sexual situations, rough language.
Orientation: Het
Pairings: Engineer/Shaw
Summary: The survivors try to figure out what the unexpected radio silence means, and come up with answers that nobody is thrilled about.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Engineer or Shaw, or any of the other characters or events associated with Prometheus. (Nor do I own the Sumerian language, *sigh.*) I’m not making any money off of this, just escaping from my Master’s Thesis for a little while. Please don’t sue but feel free to hire me for script doctoring, Mr. Scott! I have student loans to pay off. ;)
Notes: Down at the end, as per usual.

Chapter 24 )

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3/2/13 12:57 am - Bah. HUMBUG.

Dear Virgin Mobile:

Do not, I repeat, do not send me a text requesting a payment four hours after sending me a text telling me that my payment cleared. You will only make me cranky. I really shouldn't be surprised that you're being that stupid, though. It's in keeping with your history, but at least the MAIN system knows that I've paid.

Still. CRANKY. I have enough other fish to fry that I don't need your screwups. If I end up having to make a call about this, you will end up feeling glurfier than I do. I PROMISE.

A.

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2/16/13 10:55 pm - Oddments

So it's been a bit of a strange week. Yesterday, after almost a year of casually trying to find a song I'd heard once, I finally located it. It's called "Room For Happiness" by Kaskade, and I think my big problem was that, after someone told me which band it was by... I attempted to search for the band under the conventional spelling. *facepalm* So anyway, yeah, that mystery is now solved.

In other odd news, I found myself dissecting my Eee PC today. It died almost five years ago. Today I finally decided I should get rid of it, because five years, zomg. (It doesn't feel like five years at all. I'm constantly surprised by just how much time passes because... oh, Hell, I'm probably living under a rock somewhere in Mirkwood when I'm not in classes, and time just doesn't seem to really pass. This probably explains why nobody believes I'm almost 42, too.) So. Anyway. The Eee PC and the dead Vaio have both been expensive paperweights for almost five years, and I decided that I ought to toss them. This always involves pulling the hard drives first, when I toss old computers. Noooo data goes out into the world. If someone wants the parts, they're welcome to them, but they can't have data. It was easy enough to extract the hard drive from the Vaio, but when I tried to find it in the Eee PC, things turned into major surgery.

That's because this was the very first model, the wacky one where you had an internal solid-state drive with... oh, I think it was 4 gigs of storage. For a solid-state drive in 2008, that was pretty awesome. (But I was left with buyer's remorse over being an Early Adopter when the poor thing died on me after just a few months, le sigh. It was my second-to-last attempt to be an E.A. Other people with more money can do that job, thank you very much.) But it also meant that I had to pull apart the whole PC (fortunately, with the help of some very good online instructions from a guy who heavily customized his, and wanted to share the love) to determine that the SSD was soldered to the motherboard. So I've parted it out. If anybody has a working version of that machine, and maybe needs a new keyboard, a replacement LCD screen, a carrying case, or any of those kinds of things, I still have them. The rest is going to the curb in baggies. The Vaio probably will be too, if my mother doesn't give it to a kid who apparently likes to take apart electronics, too.

I hung new clothes rods in my closet today, too. One of the old ones fell down recently.

So I guess I've had a pretty busy day. But weirdly enough I feel like a huge slacker. Probably because my to-do list is barely scratched.

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2/14/13 08:10 pm - The joys of graduate school...

...are eating me alive.

A huge apology to people who are waiting for the next chapter of Forbidden Gifts. It's about halfway written (and has been for a while) but this semester is very very intense. I'm on top of my thesis, so far (yay!) but my schedule is crazysauce with wackysprinkles. I generally cannot brain when I get home, and when I can, I generally have to brain homework first and then crash. I caught a bit of a break this week because one of my professors is out of town due to a family emergency; the other class is a mixture of grads and undergrads, and the undergrads have a paper due this week that we don't, so we didn't have to attend. So I'm more or less on top of stuff. But my reading pile is ginormous. GINORMOUS. I've had almost no time for words of my own.

Hopefully I can finish the chapter soon. I'm not actually stuck or blocked or anything, just incredibly pressed for time. I feel pretty guilty because it's been more than a month since the last chapter went up... hopefully I will get a chance to put another chapter up soon. I will try to.

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1/31/13 11:17 pm - This is a thing of beauty.

So my new phone arrived yesterday. I couldn't do anything with it when it arrived because I had mega-loads of studying to do (this semester is intense) but tomorrow all I have is a shortish shift in the Writing Center (1 hour of taking clients, 1 hour of staff meeting, and 1 hour of teaching a "class" that consists of one flakey girl who hasn't made a session yet and is on the verge of failing by default) so I was able to set it up tonight. It's the 4S, 16 gigs of memory, and it's just... absolutely gorgeous. I love the fact that even before I could ask it to talk to my iPad and get data from it, it already had! My contacts list had been imported, as had my calendar and reminders. I have lots of other stuff to load on, but the fact that it's already fully functional in those regards delights me. And the retina screen is super-beautiful, too.

So yes, I love the phone.

Next up: switching my various subscriptions and stuff away from my gmail accounts (real-name and pen-name) over to a non-Google alternative. The two top contenders at the moment are Zoho and Lavabit, and I will decide which one to go with after I've done a little more research. I don't intend to actually give up the Gmail accounts -- I'd rather not have someone picking them up and impersonating me or accessing services I forgot to switch away -- but I do intend to get away from being in a position where Google has access to important correspondence/data about me. I'm also switching to a new search engine. I've been testing out Duck Duck Go and like it pretty well, but a guy at the Writing Center is trying to pull me over to the DarkBing Side with the Bing Rewards program thingy. But seriously, as much as I don't care one way or the other whether I see breasts, I'm not going to go with any search engine that forcibly hides them from me. XD

So yay, the phone is awesome. :D I am le happy. :D

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1/27/13 11:00 pm - Dear Google:

I suppose I should thank you for giving me that final push, shouldn't I? After all, I've been dithering for more than a year about making the switch to an iPhone -- the Optimus is a nice enough smartphone and I was pretty contented with how it worked for me and all that, and it DOES involve shelling out a bunch more money to make this kind of switch -- but you made it so EASY. Now, I'm annoyed with you about the whole thing where you've redone your image search in a way that seems to hate my computer, but I could live with that. What I am absolutely disgusted by, however, is the way you've forcibly deployed Safe Search on everybody, whether or not they want it.

Not that I run around looking for hardcore images often -- although I do Mod NSFW Icons on both IJ and DW, when I actually remember it exists -- but knowing that you're deliberately shielding my eyes from content YOU'VE decided would be bad for me to see, and that I get no say in the matter? NOT FUCKING COOL. What's next? Political speeches? News about human rights abuses? You've already been skewing search results to show people what you think they want to see for years, something that has increased this nation's polarization by making people think that a much broader swath of society supports their positions than actually is the case. That was bad enough. This? Is FUCKING UNTENABLE.

Which is why, in a few days' time, I will be wiping my Android phone clean and sending it off to the recycler. And which is why, soon, I will be finding a new non-Gmail email to use for my official RL identity email, and probably for my pen name email too, so that I can cut you out of my correspondences and find someone a little more trustworthy to manage them. And which is why I'm going Apple hardcore. To them, I'm a CLIENT, not a COMMODITY. I'm the one who buys things, not the one being sold. I only wish that everybody else you have over a barrel could do the same thing. Maybe once you were a little David, but these days you're a Goliath who needs a stone in the eye in a big way.

No love anymore,
Ardath.

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1/15/13 11:09 pm - And the world becomes a little less bright.

I never feel entirely comfortable mentioning things that point to my RL on here, but the world lost an amazing person today and he deserves mentioning. George Gund III was a huge philanthropist and one of the sweetest people I've ever met in my life. Getting to see him (and his spectacular eyebrows) every year at the Film Festival was always an enormous treat, and getting to talk to him was always such a delight. (He was also the softest-spoken person I'd ever met, but every word he said was worth the effort to catch.) His commitment to human rights causes was unparalleled, as was his general awesomeness.

His son is my age, far too young to have lost a father. I feel so bad for him right now.

Rest in peace, G-3. You made the world a better place with everything you did.

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1/12/13 02:28 pm - Forbidden Gifts, Chapter 23

Title: Forbidden Gifts
Author: Ardath Rekha
Chapter: 23 of ?
Fandom: Prometheus
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Nothing much in this chapter.
Orientation: Het
Pairings: Engineer/Shaw
Summary: The voyage begins. Meredith prepares for the upcoming battle to save David from Peter Weyland. Zamin realizes he has a lot of duties to juggle and decisions to make, and yet another unexpected problem to tackle.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Engineer or Shaw, or any of the other characters or events associated with Prometheus. (Nor do I own the Sumerian language, *sigh.*) I’m not making any money off of this, just escaping from my Master’s Thesis for a little while. Please don’t sue but feel free to hire me for script doctoring, Mr. Scott! I have student loans to pay off. ;)
Notes: Down at the end, as per usual.

Chapter 23 )

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1/12/13 04:11 am - . . .

...This isn't an Onion article.

*points up* That wasn't an Onion article.

brb dying of laughter.

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1/11/13 02:05 pm - I am head-desking so hard right now.

Remember I mentioned the Jehovah's Witnesses who showed up at our door and ran afoul of my father? And essentially got their heads filled up with my father's very pro-Darwin views on Evolution and its relationship to the purpose of life? The ones I figured we'd never see again because he'd leave their heads hurting for years?

One of them came back to continue the conversation.

Part of me is cracking up so hard, and part of me is a little scared that somehow all of this will mysteriously morph into my father becoming some kind of wacky religious guru... and most of me is just hiding upstairs until the Scary Stranger goes away. XD Because he's scarier than ever now.

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1/9/13 12:44 am - Yow

So here it is, nine days after New Years, and how am I doing on my resolutions? Flipping amazingly. My big resolution has to do with cutting down on clutter, so I resolved that I would give away something for each day of the year. My drawer/closet/storage box cleaning spree means that I've already got the whole first quarter covered. Just... awesome. I've reclaimed so much space.

I'm going to sleep really well tonight, too.

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12/28/12 12:53 pm - Random Bleh...

There may be Doctor Who spoilers inside.

Don't get me wrong, I LIKED the Christmas Special, but... )

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12/27/12 07:15 pm - Did I mention I hate DIVs?

I do. I really do.

I am trying to customize a theme for SMF, so that it will match the rest of my website, something I wouldn't have to do if I didn't need to update from SMF 1.1 to 2.0 to fix some security issues. And you know what? There is no reason on this Earth that anything ever should require a 55kb .css file. Other than that people are determined to make sure that nobody can code things cleanly and simply. Nested DIVs = rats' nests.

When DIVs were first proposed, the idea was to cut down on the amount of shitty coding on websites, not explode it to the nth degree. God.

I should not have to play where's fucking Waldo every time I need to figure out which DIV controls a particular piece of text. I should not have to spend hours trying to figure out why, when I've set "padding: 0.5em" for two different boxes, one of them mysteriously has visibly larger padding than the other. And I should not have to listen to people telling me how "em" is a superior tag to "i" when they then also have to program "em=i" into the .css... especially since "em" also stands for a dimensional measurement.

Just... whatever drugs people were doing when they dreamed this shit up, they'd damn well better share them with me now. Apparently I need to be high as a kite for this logic to resemble anything from Earth.

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12/24/12 05:20 pm - Let it SNOW!

We're getting the biggest snowflakes I've ever seen, and there's RED on the radar map (I've never seen that before in winter, except during a blizzard). But this is a really gentle snowfall... just huuuuuuge flakes. SO pretty. (But my camera can't seem to get a good picture of the flakes no matter what I do. *sigh*)

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12/22/12 01:13 am - Forbidden Gifts, Chapter 22

Title: Forbidden Gifts
Author: Ardath Rekha
Chapter: 22 of ?
Fandom: Prometheus
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Some dark stuff to do with the murder of Zamin’s family
Orientation: Het
Pairings: Engineer/Shaw
Summary: Messages get dispatched to Earth, and some interesting facts about Meredith Vickers come to light. Shaw makes a bit of an unusual decision about just who, exactly, she is.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Engineer or Shaw, or any of the other characters or events associated with Prometheus. (Nor do I own the Sumerian language, *sigh.*) I’m not making any money off of this, just escaping from my Master’s Thesis for a little while. Please don’t sue but feel free to hire me for script doctoring, Mr. Scott! I have student loans to pay off. ;)
Notes: Down at the end, as per usual.

Chapter 22 )

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12/17/12 03:53 pm - Forbidden Gifts, Chapter 21

Title: Forbidden Gifts
Author: Ardath Rekha
Chapter: 21 of ?
Fandom: Prometheus
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Some dark stuff to do with the murder of Zamin’s family
Orientation: Het
Pairings: Engineer/Shaw (eventually)
Summary: It’s pillow talk time. Or maybe it’s angstmuffin time. It’s the angstmuffiniest pillow talk ever. Angstpillows, okay? There are angstpillows.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Engineer or Shaw, or any of the other characters or events associated with Prometheus. (Nor do I own the Sumerian language, *sigh.*) I’m not making any money off of this, just escaping from my Master’s Thesis for a little while. Please don’t sue but feel free to hire me for script doctoring, Mr. Scott! I have student loans to pay off. ;)
Notes: Down at the end, as per usual.

Chapter 21 )

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12/14/12 11:25 pm - Forbidden Gifts, Chapter 20

Title: Forbidden Gifts
Author: Ardath Rekha
Chapter: 20 of ?
Fandom: Prometheus
Rating: Mature
Warnings: SMUT! SMUT! SMUUUUUUT!
Orientation: Het
Pairings: Engineer/Shaw (eventually)
Summary: Shaw and Zamin finally get their act together.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Engineer or Shaw, or any of the other characters or events associated with Prometheus. (Nor do I own the Sumerian language, *sigh.*) I’m not making any money off of this, just escaping from my Master’s Thesis for a little while. Please don’t sue but feel free to hire me for script doctoring, Mr. Scott! I have student loans to pay off. ;)
Notes: If you don’t actually want to read smut, skip down to the asterisks and start reading there.

Chapter 20 )

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12/12/12 02:38 pm - Augh...

Jehovah's Witnesses came to the front door and my father got to them.

I think they're going to leave here thinking that it would have been kinder if he'd fed them to alligators.

One of them must have made the mistake of saying something about evolution. He's giving them a lecture that's going to leave them with headaches for a month. XD

I'd be very amused but, uh, all of this means that they haven't left yet, and that means I feel like I'm being fed to alligators too.

(Honestly, though, it's knowing that it could be Jehovah's Witnesses or Scientologists or -- as of late -- Mormons at the door that contributes to my social anxiety disorder and makes me avoid answering the bell when it rings myself, which is how my father got to them in the first place. If you ring my bell and I don't know you, you'd better be bringing me pizza or a package I ordered. Otherwise I will probably peek through the curtain once and then go back to hiding from you.)

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12/11/12 05:27 pm - YKINMK....

So I've been working with student papers, and the students, and it seems like no matter how much I make their papers bleed, they love it and ask for me specifically. Which had me just cracking myself up in the writing center as I imagined opening up Ardath's House of Grammar Pain. ("Whip me, beat me, make me write in complete sentences.")

I'll be over here giggling like a crazy person...

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